waiting

like ivy, I’m gonna crawl

over your windows, up every wall

like sunlight, I’m gonna pour

through every crack around every door

 

I’m not gonna knock darlin, I’ll walk right in

I’ll take off my shoes, I’ll invite all my friends

drink all of your whiskey, fall asleep in your bed

I’m gonna make myself at home in your head

 

like sugar, baby I’ll be sweet

but darlin I’ll still rot your teeth

like a cigarette, I’m gonna burn

set fire to every dollar you earn

 

I’m not gonna knock darlin, I’ll walk right in

I’ll take off my shoes, I’ll invite all my friends

drink all of your whiskey, fall asleep in your bed

I’m gonna make myself at home in your head

I’m hanging my pictures on the walls of your skull

thought maybe the color might distract from the dull

black and whites of your brain, baby

why doesn’t your answer ever change, baby

 

like blood I’m gonna run through your veins

like a sunset at the end of the day

you’re what I’ve been waiting on

sure as the day is long

maybe its just bad luck

maybe I just fucked up

like a prisoner to my bad intentions

maybe I just need the attention

 

like ivy, I’m gonna crawl

over your windows, up every wall

like sunlight, I’m gonna pour

through every crack around every door

 

I’m not gonna knock darlin, I’ll walk right in

I’ll take off my shoes, I’ll invite all my friends

drink all of your whiskey, fall asleep in your bed

I’m gonna make myself at home in your head

I’m hanging my pictures on the walls of your skull

thought maybe the color might distract from the dull

black and whites of your brain, baby

why doesn’t your answer ever change, baby

 

bible belt

I’m angry like an addict who’s as sober as a bird

while I smile and laugh and tell myself

that someday this won’t hurt

I’ll bite my tongue til it bleeds

crawling round on my knees

yeah I keep both hands in the pockets of

a wealthy stranger’s jeans

 

but you can’t lose your head and keep your wits

I can’t lose my head over this

 

I’ve seen lightning strike in the sunshine

and I’ve been breathing fire out these windows of mine

and I bet all the birds roll their eyes

when they see the ways we pretend to fly

 

but you can’t lose your head and keep your wits

I can’t lose my head over this

 

“its only hell if you make it”

well tell me

is there a hell for the faithless

 

underground

you got eyes like the sky in mid-July

I’ve got a heart like a black hole

its always heavy but its never full

you won’t run won’t escape its pull

all the bodies of the boys that came before

laying lifeless used up on my floor

all the hearts I stole in a trophy case

all the love I’ve lost written on my face

 

I’ve got a goddamn good thing going

I’ve got knots in my stomach nonetheless

I’ve got a need to put pen to paper

darlin when I’m dead I’ll rest

 

can I do right can I be right at all

I’d still wait by the phone if you never called

and fall asleep with your number dialed

oh I never was free but at least I was wild

and lately I’ve been having such strange dreams

what’s really strange is I’m dreaming of mundane things

I don’t wanna go home but I wanna lay down

I wanna get high and live underground

 

I’ve got a goddamn good thing going

I’ve got knots in my stomach nonetheless

I’ve got a need to put pen to paper

darlin when I’m dead I’ll rest

 

nothing ever gets to me

nothing ever gets to me

til there’s no one beside me

when I lay down to sleep

and I’ve spent half the night

stumbling drunk tripping over my feet

darlin nothing ever gets to me

 

don’t you worry baby

I can make it, I’ll be fine

got pills in my pockets

got stars in my eyes

 

nothing ever gets to me

I’ve got a love that makes me weak at the knees

I’ve got a heart that beats so hard, baby it bleeds

but nothing ever gets to me

nothing ever gets to me

 

don’t underestimate me

I promise, baby I’ll be fine

got pills in my pockets

got stars in my eyes

 

nothing ever gets to me

 

settle

don’t you ever let dust settle on the things you love

or waste your precious thoughts on precious metals

and whether you’ve got enough

its not gonna make no difference, darlin

whether there’s gold in your grave

you’re so full of contradictions, darlin

that’s no way to behave

 

so lets drink to our wealth

to our diminishing health

lets ring in the new year

I won’t be the way that I was, dear

 

all the clocks are gonna wonder why

I’m no longer watching them spin

well as long as there are stars in the sky

I don’t need the time on my wrist

where’s the wild light behind your eyes

it gets dimmer by the day

and it used to be so goddamn bright

I saw it from miles away

 

so lets drink to our wealth

to our diminishing health

lets ring in the new year

I won’t be the way that I was, dear

 

streetlights

I will stay outside till the sun comes up

not keeping track of time or if I’ve had too much

I’ll drink the bottle dry without an ounce of guilt at all

and I will feel just fine in the morning when you call

 

I wanna leave the city for a night or two

forget my troubles and lay under the stars with you

oh I do

I hear the mountains are lovely this time of year

but I’d go anywhere if it was with you, my dear

 

I’ll leave the lights on so I can watch you dream

and when you stretch and yawn I will brew your tea

I love the way you talk when you’re half-asleep

I love the way you walk when you walk next to me

 

I wanna leave the city for a night or two

forget my troubles and lay under the stars with you

oh I do

I hear the mountains are lovely this time of year

but I’d go anywhere if it was with you, my dear

I wanna live in a city with no streetlights

I miss the silence and the blanket of stars at night

city life aint right

 

I don’t

I don’t wanna know where you’ve been tonight, baby

I’m not gonna worry about where you’re gonna sleep

I don’t wanna know, no its driving me crazy

I don’t wanna know, no I’m not so weak

 

yeah I’m sure everyone’s so very

impressed with your new vocabulary

but they don’t measure clever in syllables

no its not just me being cynical

do you wanna get analytical

I can be pretty critical

 

I don’t wanna know where you’ve been tonight, baby

I’m not gonna worry about where you’re gonna sleep

I don’t wanna know, no its driving me crazy

I don’t wanna know, no I’m not so weak

 

you mask your ignorance with eloquence

you assert your unintelligence

an unrivaled sense of pretentiousness

and you’re still completely directionless

I can’t say that I’m surprised

all your years don’t make you wise

 

I don’t wanna know where you’ve been tonight, baby

I’m not gonna worry about where you’re gonna sleep

I don’t wanna know, no its driving me crazy

I don’t wanna know, no I’m not so weak

 

besides, you never meant that much to me

 

I don’t mind

fell fast asleep with your shoes on your feet

hanging over the edge of the foot of my bed

I was sat with my back breaking over my desk

with a pen in my hand and a sting in my chest

 

I fell in love with you as soon as your eyes closed

I realized I’d never seen eyes quite like those

I’m gonna drown in the deepest blues

I’ve got an ocean’s worth of feelings for you

 

twisting my neck so that you’d never catch

all the glances I threw to your side of the room

shifting my gaze to the words on the page

and praying under my breath I hadn’t bored you to death

 

crawled in to sleep and you laid next to me

and to my surprise, awoke to you still by my side

didn't know I loved you til I kissed you goodbye

now if I woke up without you, the sun wouldn't rise

 

so drink all my wine

I don’t mind, I don’t mind

 

forget your roots

sure is strange when your hometown

stops feeling like home

and nothing’s changed in your hometown

except the depth of your soul

it never rains in my hometown

to wash away my sins

I moved away from my hometown

I haven’t looked back since

 

are your bones trembling from the temperature change

is your ghost rattling the bars of its cage

I can’t breathe in this desert dust no more

I’ve never been more sure, I’ve never been more sure

 

I took my troubles down to Tennessee

laid them by the riverside

I’m gonna drown them in the Mississippi

lord knows I’ve tried

but when I dream of my hometown

nothing’s ever the same

somehow it feels like my hometown

with the scenery rearranged

 

are your bones trembling from the temperature change

is your ghost rattling the bars of its cage

I can’t breathe in this desert dust no more

I’ve never been more sure, I’ve never been more sure

 

grow your soul

when I was young, I would stare at the sun

in the hopes that my eyes could steal some of its shine

now that I’m older, my blood runs colder

I’m going blind, its no one’s fault but mine

 

I’ve been planting trees to grow my soul

but I don’t recognize these fingers as my own

in the mirror I share secrets with myself

and laugh at all the jokes that my reflection tells

 

bare feet at the bottom of the ocean

a stranger’s shoes are underneath my bed

while I leave the door to my room open

I swallowed the only keys that open up my head

 

I’ve been planting trees to grow my soul

but I don’t recognize these fingers as my own

in the mirror I share secrets with myself

and laugh at all the jokes that my reflection tells

 

oh the ice behind my smile

my misery is melting away

 

I’ve been planting trees to grow my soul

but I don’t recognize these fingers as my own

in the mirror I share secrets with myself

and laugh at all the jokes that my reflection tells

 

serotonin

I’m feeding all of my addictions

with a medical precision

I ponder my existence

I refill my prescriptions

there’s a chemical imbalance

to which I owe all of my talents

oh it used to be such a challenge

now they serve me serotonin by the gallons

 

but there ain’t a better inspiration

than all my lofty aspirations

no there’s no better motivation

than all their baseless accusations

yeah at my current elevation

I’ve got no need for validation

I’m staring down at constellations

maybe its all this medication

 

I’ve got a tendency towards dependency

a flaw in my brain’s chemistry

got a twitch no one else can see

from my trembling hands to my shaking knees

in the background of our conversation

I’m making subtle calculations

I’m counting every character

every letter in every word

 

but there ain’t a better inspiration

than all my lofty aspirations

no there’s no better motivation

than all their baseless accusations

yeah at my current elevation

I’ve got no need for validation

I’m staring down at constellations

maybe its all this medication

 

ALL SONGS WRITTEN BY CHRISTINA ALLBRIGHT

© 2017 BAD COYOTE MUSIC